Have you ever felt the cool breeze wafting around your
privates on a hot summer day? If
you have, you know how wonderful a feeling this is. But what if you were forced
to wear long pants on that hot summer day, thus depriving you of that joy? That’s the hell that players on the PGA
Tour face every Thursday thru Sunday of the tour season. They must live with the oppression of
long pants that keep out the sweet joy of a cool breeze. And why? Maybe it’s because the PGA
Tour is in bed with the manufacturers of long pants. Maybe it’s because the PGA
Tour is in bed with the manufacturers of jock itch creams. Or maybe it’s
because the leaders of the PGA Tour long for a puritan paradise in which
showing your legs is shameful.
Whatever the reason, it’s time to end this tyranny. That’s why I’m beginning a campaign to
allow players to wear shorts on the course during tournament play. I’m starting by petitioning The Honda
Classic in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, where the PGA Tour makes its next stop,
March 1st through the 4th. With temperatures forecasted to be in the 80s, it is
important we get moving fast on this campaign. With your help we can make these
cruel overlords see the error of their ways.
- Otto
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