Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Don't You Hate Pants?!

Have you ever felt the cool breeze wafting around your privates on a hot summer day?  If you have, you know how wonderful a feeling this is. But what if you were forced to wear long pants on that hot summer day, thus depriving you of that joy?  That’s the hell that players on the PGA Tour face every Thursday thru Sunday of the tour season.  They must live with the oppression of long pants that keep out the sweet joy of a cool breeze.  And why? Maybe it’s because the PGA Tour is in bed with the manufacturers of long pants. Maybe it’s because the PGA Tour is in bed with the manufacturers of jock itch creams. Or maybe it’s because the leaders of the PGA Tour long for a puritan paradise in which showing your legs is shameful. 

Whatever the reason, it’s time to end this tyranny.  That’s why I’m beginning a campaign to allow players to wear shorts on the course during tournament play.  I’m starting by petitioning The Honda Classic in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, where the PGA Tour makes its next stop, March 1st through the 4th.  With temperatures forecasted to be in the 80s, it is important we get moving fast on this campaign. With your help we can make these cruel overlords see the error of their ways. 

So please sign the petition seen below and send it to all your friends.  And then get out on Twitter and Facebook and share the message with as many people as you can.  Use the hashtag #shorts4all to let people know which side of this important debate you stand on.  This is America!  It’s time to act like it!

- Otto 

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