People like to drink while golfing. It helps fill the endless void between shots. And it helps you forget how much you hate playing golf. The problem is, many golf courses frown upon this behavior. Whether its due to the potential for litter, the fact that its dangerous to drink and drive a golf ball, or just a general displeasure at golfers relieving themselves behind the 15th green, drinking on the course is simply not permitted. The golf courses may not like people drinking while they play, but you HAVE to do it. That’s why I’ve come up with the Beer Watch app. The world’s first app that will allow you to drink all you want on the golf course and never get caught.
The app is modeled after the apps that help you avoid
traffic. Except instead of other
drivers telling you where the trouble spots on I-95 are, other golfers are
telling you where course officials are currently stationed. By following the Beer Watch app, which
utilizes real-time GPS technology to pinpoint your location and your relation
to course officials, you can know that it’s safe to crack open a cold one while
standing at the 8th tee.
But you’ll also know that you need to hide your refreshing adult
beverage when you get over to 12.
The Beer Watch app will feature maps of courses all over the
United States and the world, so that you can feel refreshed and a bit tipsy no
matter where you play. By tapping
into the alcoholic golfers’ sense of camaraderie for fellow drunks, the Beer
Watch app can turn a long, boring game of golf into a real-life beer
commercial.
- Otto
Otto,
ReplyDeleteYour extraneous word diet is giving your posts a better figure. More of your sentences are straight to the point.
You still have some offenders:
"Whether its due to the potential for litter, the fact that its dangerous to drink and drive a golf ball, or just a general displeasure at golfers relieving themselves behind the 15th green, drinking on the course is simply not permitted."
This could be, "Whether due to potential litter, the danger to drink and drive a golf ball, or general displeasure at golfers relieving themselves behind the 15th green, drinking is simply not permitted."
As you continue to shed these extra pounds, your humor and message will carry farther.
Hi Otto,
ReplyDeleteYou appear to be lampooning the pitch assignment as much as you lampoon golf. Is the Beer Watch app actionable? Though there may be some courses that don't allow alcohol during play, I've never encountered one. Most clubs have beverage carts roaming the course, selling high priced beer and liquor. Drunken behavior is not tolerated, for sure, but throwing back a cold one is not above even the most conservative of golfers. I assume you're simply having a little fun with the assignment. You've pitched an idea related to your niche, but I think you've neglected your audience. How do you convince me to invest in your idea if it's relative nonsense? I'm not saying the app can't be silly - there's plenty of fun, silly apps on my iPhone - only that you've set yourself up for a difficult task moving forward.
All The Best,
E.B.